I was 5 years old once. It was awhile ago.
I remember some bits and pieces.
I remember having thoughts about how cool it'd be to grow up and be able to do whatever I want.
Bedtime is for suckers.
Go to school? Eat healthy food? Don't say bad words? Wack.
The glorious prospect of adulthood was palpable.
Life was exciting and would be even more so in the future.
But now I'm here.
...and wondering where the time went, when the real excitement kicks in.
Somewhere along the way something insidious crept in.
Life doesn't go on forever......
So then why have I wasted so much of my precious time on silly, insignificant things?
Or, what even is significant?
If nothing ultimately matters, then the only reason for doing anything is enjoying the now and near-future as much as possible, while your existence still...exists.
Why sacrifice this year for an unpromised next year?
I've become more cognizant of the time I spend on things and what those things are.
Too much time has been spent on what society might call "important" when, in reality, they're all just thinly veiled abstractions of cogs to keep our overlords' machines running.
So there are some things that "matter" but only because they make me feel good in the moment.
Because right now is all we really have.